RETIREDAsh's Amazing Directions!
by The Long Name Ending In Cookie
Summary: Ya ever wonder why Ash always gets lost? Read this! I ask him for directions to my own door, and end up... well, you'll see!


ASH'S AMAZING DIRECTIONS!  
By PinkScyther  
  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Ash, or anyone/thing really. Please can someone tell me a way to make disclaimers interesting? The entire world will reward ya for it!  
  
I've had a LOT of sugar! I've been sitting around with an idiot grin for a while 'coz my sis was on the computer. Can you believe she only figured out how to turn it off today?! I ate an entire box of Raichu pills today. Makes it hard to type. Anywayz, this fic shows why you should NEVER ask Ash Ketchum for directions... unless you're as stupid as me that is.  
  
  
PINKSCYTHER: *in her bedroom, talking to Ash* Hey Ash, can you give me directions to the door? *to the Pokémon* This'll be interesting!  
  
ASH: Sure...   
  
  
ASH'S AMAZING DIRECTIONS:  
  
How To Get To The Bedroom Door In 15 Easy Steps  
  
1. Go to the window  
2. Throw the bed at it  
3. Jump out  
4. Roll in a mud puddle  
5. Eat ten Weetbix  
6. Walk south ten steps  
8. Swing on the clothesline  
9. Close your eyes and run in circles  
10. Stop and run in the direction you're facing  
11. Catch a Geodude  
12. Open your eyes  
13. Go north five metres  
14. Turn left at the intersection and right at the roundabout  
15. Wait for a green light and then go forward ten metres and you should be...  
  
  
ASH: *looks around frantically* at the... What the heck?! Coles Supermarket?!  
  
PINKSCYTHER: Well, looks like your directions were a little off... (A/N I'm either tactful or just plain stupid)  
  
ASH: Don't worry, I'll get us outta here!  
  
  
ASH'S AMAZING DIRECTIONS ~ SET TWO  
  
How To Get Back To PinkScyther's House In 20 Easy Steps  
  
1. Run east for 1/2 kilometre  
2. Follow the Yellow Brick Road  
3. Burp, sneeze, cough, laugh, cry, eat, drink, snore and fart at the same time  
4. Eat a Raichu pill (A/N I'm doing that now)  
5. Make a banana sandwich  
6. Go north of Bormenia  
7. Run ten kilomtres west  
8. Sing 'The Chosen One' fourty-seven times--in burp speak  
9. Climb Mount Everest  
10. Climb Mount KFC  
11. Go seven metres north, eight metres south, nine metres east, and ninety-six metres west  
12. Remind MiniMarril when her birthday is (A/N I'm doing that now too)  
13. Follow the bike track until you see Pikachu13 talking to Giovanni  
14. Turn left and follow the signs saying 'To The Twilight Zone'  
15. Watch 'The Tigger Movie'  
16. Stuff Brock in an envelope and send him to Bermuda (A/N What???)  
17. Go down the dirt track  
18. Follow the go-karts until Mario says "It's-a me, Yoshi!"  
19. Turn left and go that way for 90 000 kilometres  
20. Then turn right and take ten steps forward, and you should be at...  
  
  
ASH: The Leaning Tower Of Pisa?!  
  
PINKSCYTHER: Well, look at it this way: I always wanted to come here!   
  
ASH: I must have made a mistake... C'mon, I'll get us back to your house!  
  
  
ASH'S AMAZING DIRECTIONS ~ SET THREE  
  
How To Get Back To PinkScyther's House Again In 15 Easy Steps  
  
1. Follow the signs saying 'Gary Lives In A Wheelbarrow'  
2. Go down Ramsey Street  
3. Bite a Kangaskhan  
4. Do wheelies in Gary's wheelbarrow  
5. Do wheelies in Bill's wheelbarrow  
6. Tell PinkScyther to stop being obsessed with wheelbarrows  
7. Take her Raichu Pills away before she infects the world with Raichuness  
8. Get beaten up by her   
9. Follow the dirt track until you get to Pallet Town  
10. Go down Route One singing 'Viridian City'  
11. Tell PinkScyther her singing stinks  
12. Get beaten up again  
13. Grow wings and fly to America  
14. Watch your wings fall off, then fall to the ground  
15. When you land, you should be in...  
  
ASH: Bermuda?!  
  
PINKSCYTHER: LOOK OUT ASH!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
ASH: Huh?  
  
*Too late he sees Brock rushing towards him with an envelope. There is a struggle obscured by a dust cloud, from which fly bits of paper, string, staples and the occasional tooth until finally the dust settles. Brock is calmly licking a stamp. He slaps it on the now full envelope--*  
  
ASH: *muffled* Ow!  
  
*--and mails it to the moon. Ah, sweet revenge.*  
  
  
THE END  
  
Rai, rai, rai! Oh sorry, it's just that when you eat a whole box of Raichu Pills the Raichu instincts are pretty strong. BTW Who's seen that Trainer card, Secret Mission? It's one of my faves--it's so funny! The Raichu has binoculars! It's so cute! HAHAHAAAA!!!! Anywayz, bye peoples! Remember to review! 


End file.
